dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
