12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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