dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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