shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize
