when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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