You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
