Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Randomize
