I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize