i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
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Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
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He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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