Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
