There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Randomize
