I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
