you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
