So drunk, too bad you don't want this
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
