It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
