Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
