i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
