No awkward lesbian experiences without me
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
