the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
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