You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
