you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize