Cold hands, warm shart.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I will pee on everything he values.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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