i may or may not be watching the land before time
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
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I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
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