Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
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