Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
