My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
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