I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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