your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
