After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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