So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
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Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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