I was born with a shot glass in my hand
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
