The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
