Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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