is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
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