we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I'm both gender and math confused
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
