I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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