I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
