Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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