The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
