dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
