is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
