go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Randomize
