Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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