Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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