I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
