hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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