Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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