Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
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At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
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I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
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