Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
