eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
she smelled like a LAN party
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
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