Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize