She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
