Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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