Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
vagina is talking i cant
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
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