Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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