marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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