Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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