And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
