Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
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