I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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