I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Randomize
