I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Randomize
