I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
